so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
