she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
