Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
