just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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