He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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