he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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