I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
