I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
