Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
