$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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