in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
