She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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