Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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