Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
