in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
