He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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