K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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