break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
