He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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