i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize