So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
