Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
