saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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