my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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