wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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