Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
