shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
