I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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