shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
