True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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