conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
