I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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