Can i not drive my cunt home
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
