Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
