i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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