Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
