for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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