He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
