I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You ruined the universe
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
