if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I looked at my own cervix.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
