if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize