eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
