? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
