This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
