okay pat passed out under dana's car
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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