She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
