On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
