he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
