If that was your dad, he is hot
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize