Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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