why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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