they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
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So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I FOUND THE LEGS
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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