Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
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My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
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I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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