that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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