speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
