you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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